Who the hell just lets a fart fly in a restaurant like it’s nothing? I’ll run to the bathroom if I have to. Read more

“Nice tip on that dongle.” - That’s what she said. Read more

Hehehehe “dongle.” Read more

Thank God I have FiOS, is all I can say to this. Read more

Jesus Christ, how many of you are going to miss the joke? Read more

I don’t think there’s a universe in which I could force myself to spend even $85 (a heavy discount, obviously) on a pair of fucking headphones. Read more

I don’t think there’s a universe in which I could force myself to spend even $85 (a heavy discount, obviously) on a…

Hot dog in a baked potato topped with bacon bits, chives, and sour cream Read more

Uh...did you...miss the part where the vegetarian samples were the most likely to be contaminated ones? Read more

Boo, robot I just made up Read more

I’m sorry, are you arguing that lab-grown meat is unethical because the lab-grown cells don’t get to have sex with each other? Read more

You’re way nicer than I would’ve been here. Read more

Black Flag is one of the ten best video games I’ve ever played, and Rogue is nearly as good. AC has a tendency to alternate good and bad games, but don’t make the mistake of thinking the last good one was II. Read more

If you want to avoid spoilers about eSports matches you can’t watch when they happen, it’s your own responsibility to take whatever steps are necessary to avoid those spoilers. The universe does not have any obligation to conform to your happiness. You aren’t special. None of us are. Read more

“HOW DARE YOU DO THE THING YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY PAID TO DO”

—Whiny motherfuckers commenting on a free website Read more

I’m not sure how many times people have to tell you that news events and TV episodes are different before it manages to burrow through that anvil you call a skull. Probably an infinite number. Read more

This comment. Read more

This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, yes, you should be playing to strengths, and trying to just mimic pro teams is folly. On the other hand, my best friend had a placement match where the first three picks were Uther, Illidan, and Tassadar, which set him up PERFECTLY to pick Abathur (a character he loves… Read more

Waldo would ABSOLUTELY be a melee assassin with a stealth trait. Read more

Hanlon’s Razor. Read more

Counterpoint: Cohen’s been at WaPo WAY longer than Bezos has owned it. Read more