Being able to fuck the Mets out of home-field advantage against the Dodgers is nice. It is not nicer than winning the division. Read more

I mean, Colbert’s a huge confirmed nerd in general (he’s a big D&D fan, for instance), so I’m not shocked he’s great with this stuff. Still great to see. Read more

You had to pay them money in order to qualify for a discount on more money paid to them for food. Also, if you refused to pay it (which I did), you were not allowed to drink soda, coffee, or tea from the restaurant, and you had to bring your own water container—you weren’t allowed to use the restaurant’s courtesy… Read more

Also, I should mention this comes after we were playing some games and OregonBeast was on Hammer, so it’s somewhat topical. Read more

1) Our health care system. Read more

I feel as if I should introduce you to this gentleman. Read more

She’s on sale next week. Pray for Mojo. Read more

Nah, I think it’s more to due with the fact that he’s a smarmy dickwaffle. Read more

“I don’t think people are actually dumb—or cruel—enough to get behind something like this and start using it.” Read more

Tipping is the worst thing about America. Read more

Have you considered the reason you’re unpopular is because you’re entirely full of shit? Because I’ve worked a significant number of 6-hour shifts (most serving shifts tend to be around 6 hours, unless you’re working a double) and made $30 due to lack of business. Read more

Whoa now, let’s not get TOO cruel. Read more

In no way would that make these two people less shitty. Read more

Topical! Read more

Counterpoint: after the Nats’ 2015 season, I am incapable of feeling joy and root only for the inevitable heat death of the universe. Read more

Hey man, Waffle House owners don’t fuck around. Read more

I’m confused by the notion that Waffle House gets any business that isn’t between the hours of 11 PM and 6 AM. Read more

Awww, you’re adorable. Read more

Touche. Read more