Last weekend, Senator Tim Kaine’s youngest son, Linwood “Woody” Kaine, was pepper sprayed and arrested with five other people during a protest at the Minnesota state Capitol building in which they were suspected of setting off a smoke bomb. He kinda looks like Kurt Russell in Escape from New York. (Right?) So, I asked my colleagues the only question that matters:
Brendan O’Connor: would u have sex with tim kaine’s antifa son
Bobby Finger: i would not
Brendan: need some dialogue
for this blog
bob...why
Tom Scocca: Who is Mary Kill and why does everyone talk about fucking her
Brendan: god dammit tom
Bobby: i feel like it would be terrible and that tim himself would text me (somehow) hours later apologizing for his son’s lack of skill and thanking me for giving him a shot
and it would make me feel very uncomfortable
Brendan: i just googled Mary Kill
Bryan Menegus: lol
rich: He looks looks tall and skinny and his nickname is “Woody.” All of those suggest big dick to me. I don’t know if I would, but I wouldn’t not if that makes any sense.
Tom: She’s the president of BOFA, Brendan
Brendan: I feel like it would be very easy to get swept up in the romance
of a tryst
on the ramparts
Keenan Trotter: [link to Woody Kaine’s YouTube profile]
Brendan: Death Grips and Replacements
good taste in music
Andy Orin: I don’t know anything about Kaine’s son but he sounds like a nice young woke man
protesting Trump, groovy
Thorin: wait though
Andy: he probably has a guitar and plays protest songs
Thorin: have you read his opinions about FILM
[link to Woody Kaine’s film blog]
Brendan: thorin pls don’t ruin this for me
Samer: yeah i looked up that he went to school for filmmaking
thorin: but he uses the word juxtoposition
Andy Orin: he probably scrawled “this machine kills facists” across his laptop
thorin: i want to find his bandcamp page
samer: he seems nice and i’ll attribute his disheveled appearance to it being a mugshot but i don’t think it’d work out
I don’t know how to make a poll for this blog, so I ask you, the readers, to let us know in the comments: Would you have sex with Tim Kaine’s son? Or should I say, wood you? ;)