On this week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, our A-Plot was Blac Chyna’s offensive Chymojis; our B-Plot was Lamar wanting to go to basketball camp; and our C-Plot was Kourtney’s questionable allergies. You know what to do, #LEGGO.
Scene 4: Filmed on June 17, 2016
In the kitchen of her home, Kourtney Mary Kardashian is perched on her countertop, taking an aerial photo of a mini skirt. Scott comes through to drop off some lunch to Kourtney. He wants Kourtney to eat a formerly favorite sandwich of hers because he’s not convinced that she has a gluten and/or dairy allergy. As every American knows well, Kourtney subjects herself and her children to an all organic, gluten and dairy free diet for health reasons. While Scott berates Kourtney about her diet, she feeds their daughter, P, a gluten free, dairy free, and organic marshmallow. P enjoys it until her father tries to wrestle the snack out of her mouth, all in the name of fun. This scene was filmed on June 17, 2016.
Scene 5: Filmed on April 21, 2016
Over at Kris Jenner’s house, Kris visits with Khloe and Lamar. Lamar is indulging in some McDonald’s that makes a mess all over Kris’ furniture and carpet. Kris doesn’t care because she’s just thankful that her former son-in-law is alive and well enough to have the fine motor skills needed to make such a mess. While watching him eat, Kris asks Lamar about possibly trying basketball again and reminds him that Kourtney has a court at her house. Lamar already had basketball on this mind, though, because he’s been trying to persuade Khloe to let him go to a basketball camp in Santa Barbara. This camp trains both pro ballers and “would be” pros. Khloe’s still not sold, but everyone is excited about Lamar getting back into what he loves. This scene was filmed on April 21, 2016.
Scene 6: Filmed on April 30, 2016
At Kourtney Kardashian’s house, Kourtney gets a visit from Kim. Kim informs Kourtney of Blac Chyna’s upcoming animated emojis, called Chymojis. Chyna called Kim to go over details and get Kim’s blessing on the project. Kim was grateful to Chyna for including her and is even impressed at Chyna’s level of power in the project, as she vetoed a Chymoji of an animated version of herself kicking a tiger, which would have represented Tyga. Both Kourtney and Kim are thankful for this new wave of communication in their family. This scene was filmed on April 30, 2016.
Scene 9: Filmed on April 20, 2016
EFBF Malika, visits her best friend Khloe. Khloe is frustrated because the patio chairs she ordered and waited forever for have arrived, but in the wrong color. They’re dark grey and not black. Khloe can’t understand why nothing is getting done properly, but has little time to huff and puff over the chairs once one of Lamar’s friends calls her to chat about the basketball camp. This friend has done all of the research for Khloe, and thinks that the camp may be a good idea for Lamar. The camp is run by a former doctor and Santa Barbara establishments shut down pretty early, so there’s not a lot of trouble Lamar can get into since he’ll be in such a healthy environment. Khloe agrees, but is still worried about sending Lamar away, especially since he can’t seem to follow his doctor regimented orders in Calabasas. This scene was filmed on April 20, 2016.
Scene 10: Filmed on May 11, 2016
While getting ready for a shoot at Milk Studios, Kourtney talks to her makeup artist Mario about Chyna’s recently dropped Chymojis. Kourtney is not happy because one of the animations seems to show Chyna slapping Kylie. This send the normally calm Kourtney over the edge, making her want to call Chyna and verbally slap her future sister-in-law. Kylie talked Kourtney out of calling Chyna, but gave her the go-ahead to call Rob. Kourtney agreed to call Rob, because at her core she felt it gauche to yell at a pregnant person. Shockingly, though, Kourtney is more upset that Chyna caused Kourtney to question her intentions for the first time. Khloe calls Kourtney to talk about the Chymoji, and both sisters are upset with Rob, who threatens to hit a red carpet that night and spill the tea that his family members are unsupportive monsters. Because of Kourtney’s makeup artist’s look, and the cross reference with Kim’s look that day, we know that this scene was filmed on May 11, 2016.
Scene 11: Filmed on May 11, 2016
Kylie visits Khloe to eat some of her food and dissect this whole Chymoji drama. Kylie is pretty unfazed by it, and thinks the slapping Chymoji is of another girl that Chyna had a pretty public feud with that Chyna supposedly “hates.” Plus, Kylie thinks the Chymoji looks nothing like her since she’s never had the hairstyle or worn the purple lip that the Chymoji possesses. So, she’s over it. Khloe moves the conversation to Lamar, telling Kylie that she’s started looking at house rentals in Santa Barbara despite the “bad cravings” Lamar has been having. This scene was filmed on May 11, 2016.
Scene 12: Filmed on June 14, 2016
Scott Disick and Kylie Jenner drive around Calabasas. Scott asks Kylie about her newest property, which she bought in a neighborhood closer to her mother, Kris. Though the purchase is fresh, she’s already looking forward to buying more properties in the gated community so that she could either connect multiple homes or tear all of the houses down and build one massive, new property. Ah, to build a mini community for yourself! The most ancient of American dreams!! After property talk, Scott asks Kylie to keep Kourtney company while he swaps out all of the food in her home for full dairy and gluten substitutes to see if she really is allergic or just choosing to live this way. Kylie agrees. This scene was filmed on June 14, 2016.
Scene 13: Filmed on June 14, 2016
Scott and Kylie arrive at Kourtney’s home, and find her in a bathroom cutting P’s nails. P looks beyond unhappy with the situation and has smudged red lipstick on her face. After some quick salutations, Scott scurries to the kitchen to begin his food swapping process. Kylie does a poor job at keeping Kourtney company and almost immediately tells her what Scott is doing in case she’s “really allergic” and gets sick from the dairy and gluten. Like Scene 12 this scene was filmed on June 14, 2016.
Scene 15: Filmed on June 17, 2016
Kim Kardashian West visits her elder sibling, Kourtney Kardashian. Ever the peacemaker, Kim asks Kourtney to take some time to call Rob and apologize to him for lashing out. Kim is concerned that neither Rob nor Kourtney care to mend their fractured relationship, and this is simply not the Kardashian way. So, Kim tries to get Rob on the phone, but he doesn’t pick up. This scene was filmed on June 17, 2016, over a month after the Chymojis were released.
Scene 19: Filmed on July 14, 2016
At Kris Jenner’s house, Kim pulls her brother, Rob, aside to talk about his beef with Kourtney. Kim wants her siblings to talk about their issues and put this behind them. Rob agrees, so Kim calls Kourtney and puts her on speaker phone. Rob explains that his main issue with Kourtney and his sisters is that he just wants to be spoken to normally and calmly. He’s also over the negative assumptions they always make when it comes to his life and relationship. His sisters agree to do better, but remind him that siblings yell at one another and then kiss and make up. Rob vaguely understands this concept, but makes up with Kourtney nonetheless. Thanks to Kim’s bun and Rob’s appearance on Kim’s Snapchat this day at Kris Jenner’s house, it’s clear that this scene was filmed on July 14, 2016: over two months after the Chymojis were released, nearly a month after Kim initially spoke to Kourtney about making up with Rob, and a couple of weeks after Kourtney Kardashian partied with Chyna and Rob at Khloe’s birthday party.
Well, Dolls, lies don’t unearth themselves so I must retire until it’s my turn to meet the sun yet again next week. Remember to keep up with ya girl next week for another #KUWThe Slap re-cap on #KUWTKE. #ThatOneTimeAtBasketBallCamp
Mariah Smith is a writer and comedic performer who keeps up with the Kardashians. For more Keeping Up With The Kontinuity Errors, click here. You can follow her on Twitter @mRiah.