Hello. It’s only Tuesday and yet it feels like it should be a Friday in 2018.
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Unnamed sources in Washington, DC are deeply impressed that Steve Bannon, the White House’s chief strategist and favorite white nationalist, has read a few books. Apparently, reading The Art of War by Sun Tsu and two or three other books is proof that Bannon isn’t just your average white nationalist, he’s a white nationalist that’s well-educated. Okay. Since the media is seemingly unable to resist the allure of the “smart racist” story, we’ll likely have to endure hundreds of these kinds of stories about Bannon. [Politco]
- Indeed, Bannon is so interesting that he once tried to make a modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s Coriolanus but as a “rap film” set in “South Central during the L.A. riots.” According to Bannon’s writing partner, he penned some “raps” for the film that included a “gang member version of Brutus” saying the word “whitey.” At least he’s read a book. [Noisey]
- When Bannon isn’t writing raps or reading books like the true racist Renaissance man that he is, he’s busy exerting his influence over the Vatican. According to a recent report from the New York Times, Bannon is no ally to Pope Francis whom Bannon has described as a “socialist/communist.” Bannon identifies as a radical traditionalist who sees Pope Francis shying away from his responsibility to protect the church from “Muslim interlopers.” The result is that while Francis found support in the Obama White House, he’s unlikely to find that in Trump’s White House. [New York Times]
- Meanwhile, Donald Trump is sure that former President Obama “likes him.” In an interview with Bill O’Reilly, Trump said that he knows it because he “can feel it. That’s what I do in life, it’s called — like, I understand.” [Washington Post]
- Speaking of Bill O’Reilly, he won’t apologize for calling Vladimir Putin a “killer.” [The Hill]
- Rabbis are protesting Trump’s travel ban. [New York Times]
- Trump’s travel ban, which covered legal immigrants and green card holders, is gaining traction in Congress. Senator Tom Cotton—a man who looks like as though a mad scientist animated a Shelby Foote description of a hillbilly—is “taking steps...to revamp the immigration system” by reducing the number of immigrants who can get green cards and visas. [Politico]
- Tom Cotton might be bad, but Marco Rubio still remains the most transparently spineless member of the Senate. Today, he voted to confirm Betsy DeVos after he took almost $100,000 worth of donations from her. [Miami New Times]
- Last but certainly not least, House Republicans voted to eliminate the Election Assistance Commission. The EAC in the only federal agency that oversees voting machines, so this seems like a bad idea. [The Nation]
Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.