Where’s Darby? Did she go downstairs? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m gonna run down and see if she’s there. Darby! Are you in the basement? Dar-ahhhhahahaha, oh my god DARBY. Where did you get that?! Hahahaha, oh my gosh don’t move I wanna snap this. Hahaha I’m shaking. Oh my god. What? I can’t understand you! Hahahahahaha DARBY YOU LOOK INSANE I love it so much. I freaking love you so freaking much! I love you!You love me! Dar-by looks just like Bar-ney! Hahaha, wait, don’t take it off yet I want everyone else to see. Hahaha stop it! No! Hahaha no keep it on you have to let them see. HEY GET DOWN HERE DARBY HAS SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO SHOW YOU. HURRY!
Get ready, here they come. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha YES. Yeah I already snapped it. Wait I’m going to do it again. Get me in yours. Oh my god Darby I’m literally dying this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. OK, did y’all snap it? Hurry! I think Darby’s getting uncomfortable. What? It’s what? Heavy? OK fine let’s lift it off. Help me out with this. OK, one, two, three, PULLLLLL. Gahhhh. Ugh. What’s happening. Try again. One, two, THREE, PULLLLLLL. Oh god Darby, I’m sorry. Did that hurt? I’m sorry! What? No, let’s pull you push. One, two, three, PUSHHHHH AND PULLLLLLLL. Oh shoot. Uhh, Darby? What? It’s getting hot? OK, uhhhh, oh no. Keep trying I’ll figure this out. Darby, are you crying?!
Hey, one of you run upstairs and see if there’s any soap anywhere. Or butter. Something to loosen this up. Oh my god, Darby, you OK? Hold on. We’re gonna get you out of this. Remember when I got my hand stuck in that cage at the PetSmart when I was trying to pet that rude puppy who wasn’t having any of it and then we got kicked out but I was like, “I literally can’t leave because I’m stuck in this cage”? This is like that.
No! I’m not taking any more pictures! I promise! No, that noise was just me screenshotting this text. I promise. OK, what did you find. VASELINE? Who has Vaseline. What even is Vaseline? Whatever. OK, Darbs? We’re gonna slather this this Vaseline on you so you get all lubed up enough to slide this purple dino off your head. It’s gonna be cold, OK? You OK? Hahaha, I bet it feels kind of good, there we go, nice and slathered on. Wait I kind of love this stuff. Hahaha oh my GOD Darby you look gross. You literally look like a newborn but with a gross giant head. A big freaking newborn. Becca weren’t you like enormous when you were born? Like your mom got all, like, never mind. OK, Darby? Let’s try again. Ready? You push, we’ll pull. One, two, three, PULLLLLLLLLLLL. What the crap! Ugh! Darby! No! Stop crying, Darby, we’ll figure this out! Oh my god, Darby! Hey, Becca, can you call 911 and tell them what’s going on? Just call them! DARBY COULD BE DYING. No Darby I didn’t mean it. No! It’s fine! JUST ASK THEM, BECCA. DARBY IS FREAKING THE FLIP OUT OK SO JUST FREAKING CALL THEM AND TELL THEM SHE GOT STUCK IN THE BARNEY OH MY GOD QUIT STALLING.
Darby, it’s gonna be fine. I promise. We’re gonna get you out of here and then we’re gonna go home and finish Orange Is the New Black or something. Fine! We can watch something else! That’s what I’m SAYING Darby. YOU pick this time. What even is Chef’s Table. Since when are you into cooking shows? Who are you, my dad? Fine we’ll watch it. But I also saw they just added all the Jurassic Parks to Netfli-hahahahaha SORRY I didn’t mean it.
Oh my god, I think that’s the firemen. BECCA QUIT IT. JUST GO GET THEM. NO I’M STAYING WITH DARBY SHE NEEDS THE FREAKING SUPPORT. Darbs, it’s gonna be fine!
Heyyyyyyyyyyy, hi everyone! Oh hi, Mr. Bruno. Hahaha, I know. How are you. I’m fine. Darby’s worse, obviously. Sorry we called you guys, but we didn’t know what else to do and this was technically an emergency, so. Ummm, this is Darby. She’s the one who’s stuck in the Barney, as you can tell. No no it’s fine, it’s funny. We’ve all been laughing so don’t worry. Right, I know, at least we’re not drinking. My parents are good, Mr. Bruno. I’ll tell them you say hi. Darby I know you’re in a little pain right now but trust me you will look back at this and laugh. And like all of us have the freaking funniest snap stories right now you’re gonna be freaking famous I promise. Oh, that? It’s Vaseline, sir. We tried to grease her out. Should we not have?
OK, Darbs? They’re gonna make a few cuts. But don’t be nervous. They’re firefighters and they do this all the time. Right? No? This is your first time? OK, well they do this, to like, when people are trapped in houses and cars. They’re gonna jaws of life you right out, Darby.
One, two, three, PULLLLLLLLLLLL.
Oh my god, Darby! It’s working! Darby!!!!
Darby!!!!!!!! Oh my god, THANK YOU guys so much! Darby you’re free! Hahahahahahaha wait wait, get over here. One, two, three:
Images via Becca Mayberry’s snapchat/screengrab.