Today marks the Fourth of July, which means that the United States of America is now 245 years old, which means that the United States of America still exists.
What a shame! Remember abolition? Bring the ol’ gal back! And this time make it coast-to-coast style, bay bee.
Anyway, in lieu of the national anthem, which famously doesn’t even slap, I would now like to recite the words to an actual good song, La Toya Jackson’s “Boys Got Somethin’ Girls Ain’t Got”:
It was just another Saturday night
There was a full moon in the sky
The girls and me were hanging out
Just watching the boys go by
Call it curiosity
Say I can’t resist
I made a new discovery when I got my first kiss
Boys got somethin’ girls ain’t got
Drives ‘em crazy
Makes ‘em so hot
Boys got somethin’
Boys got somethin’ girls ain’t got
Like a bee that needs its honey
Like a moth drawn to the flame
You can’t escape the facts of life
We’re captured by the game
And that’s the way it’s been since Adam and Eve
Just one look was all it took to make a girl believe
Boys got somethin’ girls ain’t got
Drives ‘em crazy
Makes ‘em so hot
Boys got somethin’
Boys got somethin’ girls ain’t got