Personally, I am rooting for the humpback whales in their uprising against mankind.
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Attorney General Jeff Sessions, whose stances on essentially every issue are evil and preposterous, is attempting to declare a new evidence-free war on weed (read: minorities who smoke weed) that basically no one else is interested in. In remarks to law enforcement officers today, he said: “I am astonished to hear people suggest that we can solve our heroin crisis by legalizing marijuana — so people can trade one life-wrecking dependency for another that’s only slightly less awful.” [Washington Post]
- House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) said that he has no evidence that Trump was wiretapped during the campaign. Mama, quick, the smelling salts, for I have had myself a shock! “I don’t think there was an actual tap of Trump Tower.” [The Hill]
- A bill is being considered in West Virginia that would completely gut miner safety protections. [The Atlantic]
- Trump directed the EPA to discard fuel economy rules that were put in place to reduce emissions and fight climate change. Also, at a meeting today with Detroit auto executives, the president asked: “Are paints as good today as they used to be or not?” [Los Angeles Times]
- Trump’s budget outline, to be revealed on Thursday, reportedly includes 31 percent cuts to the EPA and 28-30 percent cuts to the State Department, a plan that Sen. Lindsey Graham declared “dead on arrival.” It also includes cuts to public education, HUD, transportation programs, and community development programs that fund things like Meals on Wheels. [New York Times]
- A U.N. agency published a report declaring Israel an “apartheid regime.” [Reuters]
- Trump will meet with Chinese president Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago—which, just a reminder, is a private club where the wealthy pay to rub shoulders with the powerful and which Politico has declared “heaven for spies.” [New York Times]
Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:
This has been barf bag.