E!’s new series Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian is based on the idea that if someone wrongs you, you can get back at them by altering your body’s shape and size. Indeed, it was the late great Maya Angelou who once said, “When someone shows you who they are, show them who you are 12 weeks later with a lower percentage of body fat.” What a crock of shit.
The question of why you should care about some asshole who made you feel bad about yourself (and actually did you a favor by signaling that they don’t deserve you, and gave you a great excuse to filter them out of your life) is second to the show’s foremost outstanding question: Why would someone who already doesn’t care about you start caring about you when you alter your appearance? Life is not She’s All That. Move your body while moving on with your life—remaining so beholden to people who have hurt you to the extent of making great lifestyle changes to send them a message seems, frankly, not very healthy at all.
Regardless of who should care about what, it was very clear watching Thursday night’s premiere episode that Khloe Kardashian does not care about these people who are on her show. Watch the clip above to witness the extent of her sympathy for Will, whose boyfriend left him after Will gained 40 lbs.
I will, though, concede that watching Khloe learn the definition of what “muscle cub” means in gay men’s parlance was amusing. Mmm.
The show features Khloe interviewing people who want to transform their bodies, asking whom they’re seeking revenge on (and not “Why are you so angry?” or “What else are you going through?”), and then hooking them up with various trainers, dietitians, and aestheticians, before basically ducking out. She doesn’t even attend their great weight-loss reveals at the show’s conclusion. To Will, Khloe shared an anecdote about how her sister Kim’s feelings of worthlessness after breaking up with various boyfriends made her feel better about herself. What a caustic worldview, what a shitty way of underlining the oppressive idea that what other people think is of paramount importance. Khloe Kardashian is about the worst person to be posing as an expert on a show that’s disgustingly cynical as it is.
“So, do you want revenge on her?” sounds way more Faustian than motivational. With that philosophy, Khloe Kardashian sounds more like a Disney villain than a fitness guru.
Anyway, Stephanie, the other person who aspired to enact revenge via her body, eventually confronted a friend who called her fat and it seemed more like... awkward hand-wringing than revenge?
Meanwhile, Will’s ex Kevin didn’t even show up to his reveal, rendering the entire purpose of this show more moot than it already was. If you lose 30 pounds to impress your ex and your ex doesn’t see it, did you even lose weight at all?!
It’s nice that Kevin feels good about himself. It’s slightly less nice that he is, by his own account, “obsessed” with the way he looks, as that philosophy will only cause more hardship. He divulged his self-obsession as though achieving the egocentrism espoused by Khloe and her clan is a triumph of the human spirit and not merely a depressing illustration of where we are as a culture. He’s also not, as he claims, the “definition of a muscle cub,” but whatever. It’s not like he needs to impress me—I didn’t do anything to him.