K8 Middleton, rather delightfully referred to in this New York Daily News article as a "queasy royal," is feeling a little better after getting fluids but remains in London's King Edward VII hospital due to severe Wingardium Leviosa!! hyperemesis gravidarum. A palace spokesman wants everyone concerned for Kate to know that she and Prince William are "immensely grateful for the good wishes they have received." As ever, it's a symbiotic relationship: English retailers are expecting a huge revenue increase in maternity clothes and baby gear thanks to the "Kate Middeton Effect."
After a prank call from two DJs at a Sydney radio station tricked a hospital nurse into divulging details of Kate's condition, Wills is even more concerned than usual about Kate being subjected to the media feeding frenzy. (He has "always had a distrust, bordering on outright loathing, for the press." HMM, I wonder why.) At his insistence, the Queen's big-shot legal staff have been calling the major tabloids and warning them that if they step out of line in any way during Kate's pregnancy, they will receive a Royal Curbstomping forthwith. [NYDN, Radar Online, Forbes, BBC]
There is a 500 to 1 chance that their kid will be named Frogmella. Cross your fingers. [Contact Music]
Frankie Muniz was rushed to an Arizona emergency room last week when he found himself unable to speak and "acting really weird" after losing vision in one eye. As it turns out, the 27-year-old had a mini-stroke—in clinical language, a "transient ischemic attack"—which happens to less than 10% of people under the age of 45. Muniz also says that he doesn't smoke or drink. But don't worry, he's fine and back to Tweeting about culturally irrelevant ephemera:
Anne Hathaway covers the January issue of Glamour in all of her histrionic, theater-nerdy glory:
"I still feel the stress over 'Am I thin enough? Am I too thin? Is my body the right shape?' There's an obsessive quality to it that I thought I would've grown out of by now. It's an ongoing source of shame for me."
And:
"[Husband Adam Shulman] is a good man. He's beyond intelligent. He loves fearlessly. His beliefs are beautiful. He's my best friend. I love him. I just feel that I have the greatest husband in the world for me. I would never have gotten married if it weren't for him. You have to want to be married to someone."
Aw, hell, Anne Hathaway, you're not so bad. [NYDN]
Jessica Simpson's mother Tina is reportedly hitting the sauce hard after her divorce from Joe, her husband of 34 years, not to mention the myriad gay rumors surrounding him these days. "She's built up quite a tolerance and has switched from wine to stuff like scotch and vodka," says a source. "Jess is just a mess over this, she feels helpless and doesn't know what to do." Both Jessica and Ashlee are urging Tina to go into treatment. [Radar Online]
As an alternative, Joe had suggested an open marriage to Tina, but she "hit the roof." [National Enquirer]
If Barbara Walters thinks Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson is one of the most fascinating people of 2012, that's fine. It's the morale of fellow fascinating person Hillary Clinton that I'm worried about. [Us Weekly]
- Kristen Stewart has Stevie Nicks on her side re: Sanderscheatinggate, and who else do you really need in your corner? [HuffPo]
- At the age of 48, married Peanuts creator Charles Schultz had a long-distance affair with a 25-year-old woman, his love letters and private comics to whom are being auctioned at Sotheby's later this month. Soon after his wife noticed the long-distance phone calls, Schultz drew a strip in which Charlie Brown tells Snoopy that he's not allowed to go out "to see that girl beagle," and "to start behaving himself... And stop making those long-distance phone calls." [Page Six]
- John Travolta and Kelly Preston might become embroiled in a wrongful death lawsuit regarding one of their champion Scientology causes: the drug rehab Narconon, which has seen four deaths in recent years. [Radar Online]
- Jason Alexander will guest star on Community. [Chicago Tribune]
- And Racist Kramer returns to TV in a sitcom called Giant Baby starring Kirstie Alley and Rhea Perlman. [NY Post]
- Some girl from Teen Mom might have married a guy. Hurrrrk. [Radar Online]
- Lady Gaga bought a fuckload of Michael Jackson's shit at an auction. [NYDN]
- Gwyneth Paltrow, renowned all-haver, told InStyle that she doesn't think women can't have it all. [Daily Mail]
- Max George, the guy Lindsay Lohan allegedly punched a psychic over, thinks she's a good girl. [FemaleFirst]
- Adorbs: Chris Rock took his daughters to a One Direction concert, and afterwards they were sleepy! [Bossip]
- Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio had a kid four months ago and now she's mostly naked in a picture. [Us Weekly]
- Hayden Panettiere and Toby Keith shared some whiskey from a Solo cup. [People]
- You wanted to see pictures of Mario Lopez's wedding, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU. [People]
- Dude, Famke Janssen does play a lot of aliens. Weird. [Page Six]
- Russell Crowe has been smoking up a storm and playing acoustic guitar in the courtyard of the Greenwich Hotel, pissing off it's co-owner Robert DeNiro. [Page Six]
- Despite the awkward circumstances (her being Conor Kennedy's ex and all) Rory and Kerry Kennedy introduced Taylor Swift at the Kennedy Center Awards with glowing praise, calling Swift "the kind of woman we want our daughters to be - authentic and mighty, willing to take a risk and strong enough to walk away." [Page Six]
- There is also a new picture of Haylor, snapped at 4 AM after her Kennedy Center honors. [TMZ]
- "TAYLOR! HOW WAS IT, TAYLOR?" Haylor walk of shame video. [YouTube]
- Headline: "BOY GEORGE: I'm Getting Unfairly Hammered By Mexicans." [TMZ]
- Meanwhile, in Amsterdam, Chris Brown smoked three joints at a time and took a picture. It's called CLASS, you guys. [Opposing Views]