Hello, 911, I’d like to report a criminal in our midst. His name is John Clayton Mayer, and I think he’s a liar.
As a part of an exclusive Sirius XM interview with interview extraordinaire Andy Cohen, Mayer was asked about his sex life. (Of course he was. You don’t compare your penis to the KKK and expect questions about your sex life to just disappear.) In the interview, published Thursday, Cohen tried to ease into the questions about sex: “By the way, would you ever put your own music on if you were making love?”
Mayer immediately says, “Have sex?” Then, he answers: “No, no, no. I think people think I would. Right. But I wouldn’t.”
Yes, we would think that and by “we” I mean me! Of all the musical men whom I believe would put their own music on during the deed, John Mayer is in the top five. In my mind, he’s joined by Jeremy Renner, Don Henley, and Tory Lanez. (I’m still workshopping the last spot, so if you have someone who should really snag it, the comments are right there.)
“That’s very looking at yourself in the mirror, which some people [would],” Mayer told Cohen. “I wouldn’t. I wanna forget myself as much as I possibly can.”
Hmm. Maybe it’s just the John Mayer of yore who I believe would totally put on his own music to help set the mood and pull off some light seduction. Then I remembered his history of just loving the sound of his own voice and I have to reconsider. I mean, the man called himself the “new generation of masturbator” in a Rolling Stone profile.
No, who are we kidding? I still think John Mayer would drop the needle on some Continuum or Heavier Things tracks to seal the deal. Maybe if things are looking particularly sad, a few songs off of Battle Studies?