Every American knows, in our heart of hearts, that aliens are real, UFOs are real, and the government is hiding a stack of skeletal little grey bodies from us in a deep-freeze in the Pentagon’s basement. Which is why it’s so cheering that Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager can’t stop talking about UFOs. I am serious about this. I am truly, deeply, not being sarcastic.
Clinton’s campaign chairman John Podesta has been described as a “longtime advocate for government disclosure of UFO files,” which is an excellent and aspirational thing to be. He’s worked as Chief of Staff for Bill Clinton and an advisor to Barack Obama, and since 2002, has been agitating for the government to release everything they have on our friends in the sky.
“It is time for the government to declassify records that are more than 25 years old and to provide scientists with data that will assist in determining the real nature of this phenomenon,” Podesta in 2002, at a news conference announcing his partnership with the Coalition for Freedom of Information on the aliens issue.
On CNN with Jake Tapper Thursday, Podesta reiterated that the American people deserve to know what’s up with aliens and said, furthermore, that Bill Clinton was also kind of curious during his presidency, saying that he “asked for some information about some of these things, and in particular, some information about what was going on at Area 51.” (Podesta said he hadn’t seen any of the classified info himself when Bill requested it; it’s unclear what the president actually received.).
“The U.S. government could do a much better job in answering the quite legitimate questions that people have about what’s going on with unidentified aerial phenomena,” Podesta told Tapper.
“The American people can handle the truth,” he added, which is true. The one thing we can handle is aliens. A lot of other things—abortion, the death penalty, race relations, the yawning wealth gap and the disappearance of the middle class—we’re not doing so great coming to a consensus on, but I’m confident we could all, as a group, calmly handle the truth about aliens.
Hillary Clinton has jokingly pledged to probe the UFO issue if she becomes president, but this shit is no joke. Podesta said in March that he’d convinced her to declassify some UFO files if she is elected, something he reiterated on CNN Thursday.
Correction: An earlier version of this post misidentified Podesta as Clinton’s campaign manager, not her campaign charman. Aliens are still real.