Here Is Proof Kanye West Will Never Get a Truly Fair Trial in Nashville

Totally cool and fun squad captain Taylor Swift is in court today in Nashville, where she is serving jury duty, because she was randomly selected from a pool of registered voters, and not because she called up every day for a month asking to come in. Though why wouldn’t she—she’s practically the patron saint of people excited by things like fulfilling their civic duty.

Based on media from Monday morning, she’s also garnering a lot of praise at a time when the gap between headlines and her feminist-with-a-heart-of-gold public persona have never been wider.

Already, if you can even believe it, evidence of her politesse has somehow trickled out of the jury room and on to Twitter. Observe a room full of people who are pretty sure they can get off work for a long trial, if that’s what Taylor’s doing.

One can only imagine the voir dire process. Q—“Mr. Smith, are there any elements of this case that might interfere with your ability to be fair and impartial?” A—“Is John Mayer involved?”

The wheels of justice grind slow, but fine; Taylor Swift doesn’t grind at all, because that’s not her brand.