Clinton Campaign Says They Can’t Find Someone Hateful Enough to Play Trump in Debate Prep

Hillary Clinton is gearing up for debates this fall against Donald Trump, a hexed tub of Velveeta that’s been brought to life and won’t stop screaming racist insults from inside your kitchen cabinet. The Clinton campaign says they need to find someone who’ll play Trump during debate preparations, but haven’t been able to find anyone “hateful” and “divisive” enough. Fair!

Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook said Sunday on CNN’s State of the Union that finding a stand-in Trump has been tough:

“It’s very hard to find someone to mimic the reckless temperament and the hateful instincts and divisive instincts of Donald Trump,” Mook told Dana Bash, beaming.

The New York Times reported last week that exiled Fox News CEO was advising Trump during debate prep, a report the Trump camp denies. ABC reports that Trump has also begun preparing for the debates, and their sources, too, say Ailes is involved.

The New York real estate developer continues to be advised by former Fox News chief Roger Ailes, despite his not holding an official role in the campaign, sources told ABC News.

Trump has not done any mock debate sessions yet but senior level aides indicate they have a person in mind to play Clinton in the eventual sessions, the sources said.

Trump is watching videos of Clinton’s 2000 and 2006 Senate debates as well as the ones she participated in against both Barack Obama and Bernie Sanders, they added.

Mook said on CNN that while preparing for a debate against Trump is “a challenging task,” Clinton is “looking forward to the debate.” He added that Clinton isn’t particularly nervous about any insults Trump might have in store: “She’s been in this game a long time.”

For a preview of those attacks, please refer to Donald Trump’s Twitter feed, and then immediately look away.

Alternately, Secretary Clinton could stand onstage and let Donald Trump talk for two hours and she’d probably still come out the winner here.