To be clear, Nestor Carbonell IS smokin’ hot. Read more

So I moved here when I was ten from Michigan (which is its own special accent hell) and I had no clue what any was talking about half of the time for at least two years. That was the single hardest part of moving for me. Read more

LOL. Now I want to go ask my dad to say vagina and labia! I have, unfortunately, heard him say angin-er before as he’s had three heart attacks and a triple bypass. Read more

Another interesting one - my stepdad, who grew up between Boston proper and the “south shore” says “mayan” for mine. I can’t figure out where that comes from.

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It’s going to take me an hour to process this correctly but I think I get it! Read more

I don’t know why people always talk about how we turn “r” into “ah” sounds when the TRULY amazing thing is how we turn “ah” sounds into “er” sounds. Read more

To be somewhat fair to us, that is a weird fucking fish. The accents are inexcusable though. Read more

I read a story yesterday about a woman whose baby had ONLY a brain stem, so the baby was technically alive and had involuntary movements but had no other brain matter at all and would not survive outside the womb. She found this out at 20 weeks and had a hard time finding a doctor but was finally able to abort a very… Read more

This reminds me of my first period, I was SCREAMING for my mother who was busy watching Melrose Place or something and she sends my god damn dad up to see what’s wrong with me! I was only 11 when I got my period and I had no fucking clue what was going on. Read more

Yeah, I wish I could use one but it consistently gives me raging yeast infections, no matter what I do. Read more

Well obviously she wasn’t giving him enough blow jobs or making his sandwiches correctly. Read more

I also wonder about this. I’d like to think I’d be spectacular but I’d probably still be a hermit 90% of the time, just a hermit with really fancy shit. Read more

I burned multiple holes in the roof lining of my first car with my cigarette trying to get away from a spider and then almost rear-ended someone. Finally I pulled over, had a mini panic attack and then killed it. Oops. Read more

Same thing with my maiden name, the letters look “out of place” to people is what I'd heard. Apparently an a before an e is VERY confusing. Now I just have a super Italian last name that no one can spell even though it’s completely phonetic. I HATE that Curtis attempted to crack a joke about this, dealing with that… Read more

Wow, she’s generally pretty on point. Major miss. Read more

“we cannot allow items on campus that can be perceived to pose a threat.” Read more

Oh I plan to abuse the shit out of it going forward! Read more

My husband did it for our wedding because he knew I’d love it, you just send in a request. Read more

Same. Are you also a Magda? Read more

Random tip - The best nail polish/nail supply bag I’ve ever had is one of those zip around “bags” that sheets or a duvet cover come in. The plastic is strong and the zipper goes all the way around three sides so you can really get in there. I’ve been using the same one for at least 5 years now. Read more