I found one of mu coworkers visibly shaking outside of the bathrooms and asked him what happened, and he told me that the men’s has a phantom shitter who must save it for a week, fills the toilet, and does not flush, but there is never toilet paper in the stool. He just kept asking me how it was possible, and getting… Read more

You win. Dear lord almighty I choked because I was laughing so hard. Poor Turd-Breath Lurch. Read more

Just made this except I used anchovy paste instead of fish sauce and it was amazing. Two out of three picky kids ate it! Read more

I seriously doubt Meghan Markle’s father just gave the letter to a tabloid. Sold Is the proper word.  Read more

What about thinning it out with some lemon or lime seltzer?  Read more

Hurricane Tiffany!  Read more

John Travolta looks like the love-child of Jake Gyllenhall and Bruce Willis. 100% improvement  Read more

That’s an audition to be the newest Real Housewife. Anyone can flip a table, but she can clear an entire restaurant. Read more

I have a bad cousin. His girlfriend would go to weddings, scope out the crowd, then rob people’s homes during the reception. She robbed my uncle’s house when she learned he was in the hospital. So I guess my cousin isn’t bad, but he has crap taste in girlfriends.  Read more

Little brat got ahold of some protein shakes in utero.  Read more

I predict a tragic accident that summer on her way to teach tennis to disadvantaged kids. She will suffer a broken arm that ends her tennis career, nonspecified injuries that require a total body skin graft, and amnesia that makes her think her father is a wealthy white lawyer. For the sake of her recovery, it will be… Read more

It will be worth it! Read more

It will be worth it! Read more

I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer truly sucks.  Read more

My mom visited her mother several times a day. My husband is at his mom’s every day. And I cared for two of my aunts. It still isn’t something that I want to experience, even with excellent care. But the cat would make it more tolerable. When one of my friends was in hospice, we snuck in a puppy for her to pet, and… Read more

As much as we played Evel Knievel as kids, jumping the creek on sleds or the minibikes, I am amazed I survived to get old. I endorse your plan! Read more

I don’t want to be in a nursing home. Just eating bland food will be torture to me, let alone the antiseptic smells, but women in my family live into their late 90s. So when I get old enough to be ready, I am taking an Arctic cruise. My final act will be jumping onto an ice floe and embracing a baby polar bear, and… Read more

This is boring compared to Smrekar, the second murderer. He was the bogeyman of my childhood.  Read more

Try murders in Lincoln Illinois, 1976. My cousin is a footnote compared to the more notorious guy who shot gunned two people in their bed and disappeared two others to avoid going to jail for misdemeanors. He truly haunted my childhood bc the missing people were never found, and some of my relatives had to testify… Read more

I hope Matt Lauer interviews him on his teiumphant comeback. From his basement. Released to YouTube. With no views because they both suck.  Read more