Welcome to PetFur Estates. I have a lovely parting gift for you.  Read more

How long before the Ugandan kidnappers flatter Trump into calling them very fine people?  Read more

Clogs were a thing when I was in junior high. Clogs and culottes. I can still hear the clumping of a hundred hormonal teenage girls, up and down the stairs. Those teachers must have been deafened by the roar of our feet. Read more

Pretty sure there's no ice where he's going.  Read more

If he funds it, we could all pretend that we never read his embarrassing texts or clicked on the story hoping to see his dick pix. It's not extortion, just a really large bribe.  Read more

He should have hired a third person to record it on his cell phone.  Read more

One of my coworkers had this happen with her landlord. He wanted her out because she complained too much (about the possum in the basement laundry who caused the entire building to be crawling with fleas, as I recall). So he creepy-crawled her, and then denied it. She couldn’t prove it, and the police didn’t take her… Read more

Why not both? Read more

My brother was the first grandson on both sides, named after both grandfathers. And I got sick and tired of that crap about him carrying on the family name, which made him immune from the consequences of his many bad life choices. He married late, has no biological children, but is a wonderful, loving grandfather. But… Read more

If Ally had attended one Al-Anon meeting, it would have been a shorter movie. It was like enabler porn.  Read more

Knitter here--glad you rescued your blanket from her ungrateful hands.  Read more

And be graphic when describing what a period looks like. My daughter ignored her first period and just kept changing her clothes (luckily, it was summer). When we were sorting clothes for laundry, I discovered the mess and we had another long chat. Her take on it—she didn’t think it was her period because I didn’t… Read more

The Phyllis Schafly School of Hypocracy.  Read more

Whoa! Joey Lawrence will never be a Q list celebrity. Next you’ll be telling me that Teen Beat heartthrob Donny Osmond is dancing around in a paper mache mask trying to stay relevant.  Read more

I am willing to start the GoFundMe for tar and feathers.  Read more

I also thought she looked refreshed. She probably bathed in the blood of kittens over the holiday break.  Read more

Drank too much all at once, or drank too much over time? Asking for a friend who might be my stomach lining. Realizing I might owe it a hearty thanks for sticking with me.  Read more

Last minute prep for family Christmas. Shrimp and grits, relish try, and a blue cheese ball. Plus homemade toffee, caramels, and turtles. All of which have to travel two hours in a car to my mom’s kitchen, which is lovely but lacks essentials like serving spoons, pans, etc bc she doesn’t cook. Read more

I want to snuggle him. He looks a big nervous, like he has a big presentation at work and just realized he forgot his pants.  Read more

So Trump is sauerkraut? It explains why people look so pained in his presence.  Read more