Please ship kitten from Istanbul to me. I will pay shipping and pet his fuzzy belly and name him Constantinople.  Read more

I just tossed two bags of kale because when I opened them they smelled--off. Not worth the risk to always be known as the woman who killed her family with a salad.  Read more

I read that as David Arquette and Nick Cage, and you can’t convince me that I am wrong. Probably fighting for the lead in Face-Off VII. Read more

My husband loves the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. He quotes it constantly. So one day I ended a text conversation with my stepdaughter with, You just keep thinking, Bitch, that’s what you’re good at. Read more

I saw it last night, and he was amazing. He strutted and preened onstage, then often seemed to fold into himself with uncertainty offstage. And his upper lip had a tremble as he talked and tried not to expose his upper teeth. Read more

I need a safe word so I don't think about Justin Timberlake having sex. I think I'll pick NO! Read more

Yes, she was an unhappy and complicated woman who wanted me to be a different kid. It probably drives her crazy that the biggest imprint she left on me is a fear of cicadas.  Read more

Yeah, my aunt is a whole ‘nother story for a different thread. Haunted and haunting in equal parts.  Read more

Cicadas. They are zombie bugs. And my aunt tried to get me over my fear by hiding them throughout the house. Did not work, and I now flinch whenever I open a drawer.  Read more

Um, I don't think these strong but soft tissues are for blowing noses. And in that case, I wholeheartedly support a dedicated box of tissues for this use.  Read more

Rolled around a pickle spear, and it’s my second favorite childhood snack. Almost as tacky as potato salad sandwiches on Wonder bread. Read more

I'd tell you that you'll understand in time, but apparently Kanye has decreed that time doesn't exist so you're screwed.  Read more

My tween kids love her music, and we’ve have had several positive conversations about Taylor Swift standing up for herself when someone touched her without permission. I shared her statement after the trial with my kids, and this statement will get a discussion tonight. Read more

So tonight the husband and I watched the original Halloween with our tweens and his daughter from his first marriage. Fun family bonding, kids went to bed. And then we watched an SNL that recorded from 1992. Clinton election, lots of stupid Ross Perot jokes, and a rapey skit called The Continental. Was this funny? Did… Read more

My MIL’s chocolate chip recipe calls for finely ground pecans, which add a pleasant crumb to the cookie and spread the taste evenly. And they are honestly the best cookies ever. But now I am going to create anarchy and toast the nuts! Read more

Yes, one of Ronald Reagan’s lesser-known plots to send weapons to foreign countries. Read more

I see it more in the smile and cute pointed chin.  Read more

Poor little Jeffy is jumping up and down trying to get Big Daddy Trump to like him and let him stay and the big kid’s table.   Read more

And now George W. Bush will never be Michelle Obama’s BFF. She’ll return his sticky Werther’s candies and never hug him again.  Read more

We loved it. My stepdaughter had a sudden divorce this fall, and the MMM helped us all laugh and put it into perspective.  Read more