Beach balls blow. They are impossible to grip, fly away in any slight meandering breeze, inevitably land in a lake and then spin hellishly in the water as you try to retrieve. Pop those fuckers. Read more

Reading this is like encountering high school crushes as an adult (at the mall in my hometown, obviously). I swore by Blackberry and Black Honey during the same time periods as you. But it all started with Sparkle Pink lipstick (I forgot the brand and cannot find it anywhere on the Internet, but the tube was… Read more

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER THIGH

I burst into tears right when Matilda did. Did anyone else find it odd that Ira semi-addressed some nebulous "comments" about how Molly reacted/should have reacted to Matilda's crying? I thought that was presumptuous and made me so curious about what these "comments" were...that it kind of overshadowed the story… Read more

You are a good brother. I actually DJed a wedding once, and that song was on the DO PLAY list. I played it at figurative gunpoint ($500) and chose that 3 minutes to smoke a cigarette. That was the last time I DJ-ed a wedding. Read more

'Cotton-Eyed Joe' was put on this earth to destroy us all. Read more

does anyone remember the show Alien Nation?

What's with the coke/talcum powder fingers?

I think I picked the rubber lip casings off with my fingernails? That or they were chewed off...which is even more depraved. That's some Bath Salts shit right there. Read more

I ripped the lips off of Kissing Barbie and two clacking lip nibs remained. Her face was the stuff of nightmares. But we still used that "kissing action" on ol' Ken. Read more

Great post. Secret ingredient from my years of bartending: pickapeppa sauce. It adds a smooth, mellow heat to the concoction http://www.thehotsaucestop.com/pickapeppa-ori…

what about the axe or the galaxy? Read more

had to go with the LASHES, people.

She is serving shades of Tyra and I do not like.

What are your feelings on the Honey Deuce? Read more

That's the evil British cupcake-dangling dog-torturer from "It's Me or the Dog" with the Bordeaux! [www.youtube.com] Read more

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[instantrimshot.com] Read more