Thanks for this, I tend to fall into a really deep slump this time of year. It’s nice to have a reminder that it doesn’t have to be wasted time. I’m going to try and stay focused and positive. Read more

Thanks! From time to time I forget about simple things like this, but I like to get these little reaffirming reminders that it’s not always going to be easy to move forward.  It’s how change works, after all. Read more

This is just such solid advice and I’d never thought of it like that before.
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Let me point out that it can hurt kids who DO fit into the norms too. Very early in school, I gravitated more towards girl friends than boy friends, but I wasn’t feminine. Adults would say shit about me being a ladies’ man or having girlfriends and asking if we would get married and I was like shit, I’m 6, what are… Read more

Yeah but pets don’t absorb that in the same way that little kids do. Putting your dog in a sweater and snapping a social media pic isn’t going to impact his self-image. He’s not going to end up confused or conflicted about his own dog-ness. Read more

That is a fair and legitimate point, but when mothers (or aunts or grandparents or whoever) say it about toddlers, it is kind of gross. Read more

It’s also a part of how we culturally regard friendship between men and women, treating even the most innocent interactions between kids as proof of sexual chemistry. Read more

Honestly, hooking up or chatting up people online while I studied abroad REALLY improved my vocabulary. Seriously. I had to look up lots of terms and learned a lot of slang (because sexual terms and flirting are rarely fun if you aren’t using colloquialisms IMO.) Read more

Steve, you may in fact be crazy.   Read more

The point that grief doesn’t only happen in connection with a death is a really important one. When I got divorced, having a therapist talk me through the process of grieving the loss of my relationship, a large part of my identity, and the life I thought was ahead of me was really important to my healing. It also… Read more

I had a lot of luck with acknowledging that it sucked but I’d feel better eventually.  It made it okay to feel shitty and ask for help, because I knew it wouldn’t be like that forever.  I feel like sometimes people are hesitant to let themselves feel everything, because it seems like they might never recover.   Read more

Asking for help was by far the hardest thing when my mom passed away a few years ago—between my own desire to not “disturb” other people and a lot of the tension people already feel with topics like these, it took a lot to get over. Accepting help being offered as well, with the usually genuine good will people may… Read more

The best advice I ever got about small talk was to think of it like tennis. When someone else makes a statement (serve), its up to you to respond and ask a question back (volley).  This will keep it going to keep both parties interested.  Don’t just tell a story, end it with “did you ever have something like that… Read more

Good article! And great timing for those who want to start planning for the upcoming fall season.
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I got married in late September and we now take an anniversary vacation every year in the last week of September. IT IS Amazing!

No crowds, cool weather, cheap lodging, yet all the attractions that close for the winter usually do so around the first of October, so everything is still open.  Also, you don’t have to… Read more

My birthday is at the end of November and I can say from experience that it’s a great time to visit the Grand Canyon and the Big Island of Hawaii. Read more

In response to the flood of burners and, let’s face it, men moaning about how this advice is either: 1. sexist or 2. pointless because everyone recognizes these volunteer tasks and gives credit for it, allow me to present a small sample of the ways that I, a professional woman, have been asked to volunteer to do… Read more

(Woman in Engineering) I agree with your professor! Here’s why: Read more

I really enjoyed the Ehrenreich book, especially when she described what she went through when joining message boards for cancer patients. She said that it was so intense that when she complained, people would actually say things along the lines of “well you’re definitely not going to get better with that attitude,”… Read more

Agree with so much of this. When I had lymphoma a couple of years back, a bad friend (now frenemy/lapsed friend) who had ignored me for years tried to aggressively pump me up with, “You’re going to beat it, you’re going to make cancer your bitch.”

I was just so fucking tired. Physically tired from the cancer and the… Read more