Who Directed These Impressive Wind Gusts at Cannes?

My kingdom for a wind gust to appear like this while being photographed

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Photo: VALERY HACHE/AFP (Getty Images)

Somehow at Cannes—a gathering of already-beautiful and influential people working in the film industry—nature decided to give the women wearing beautiful gowns an additional leg up by creating preternaturally perfect, absurd wind gusts, dramatically arching lengths of tulle and chiffon just as the paparazzi snapped their eager cameras. How the hell does this happen, and why doesn’t it ever happen to normal people, rather than gusting exactly so our hair whips into our mouths and eyes during a selfie or whatever else we might be doing on the gram? Is nature playing us?

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Anyway, that’s Noel Capri Berry, who is not only a fashion model but is also wearing a dress with a cape that the stupid wind wanted to caress.

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Oh, not cinematic enough for you?

Oh, not cinematic enough for you?

Image for article titled Who Directed These Impressive Wind Gusts at Cannes?
Photo: CHRISTOPHE SIMON/AFP (Getty Images)

Perhaps, then, you might want to indulge in actor Frederique Bel striking a damn pose on the damn red carpet steps while the damn wind nuzzles her damn gown.

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3 / 6

Seriously, what the hell

Seriously, what the hell

Image for article titled Who Directed These Impressive Wind Gusts at Cannes?
Photo: Kate Green (Getty Images)

French model Didi Stone Olomide in a voluminous damn gown made more voluminous by the freakin wind. Did I mention all these people were attending a screening of a film called Tout S’est Bien Passe (Everything Went Fine)? Well, it did.

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Mais oui

Image for article titled Who Directed These Impressive Wind Gusts at Cannes?
Photo: CHRISTOPHE SIMON / AFP (Getty Images)

Nidhi Sunil, a—yes—model, getting an assist she clearly did not need by the—yes—wind.

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5 / 6

Seriously though

Seriously though

Image for article titled Who Directed These Impressive Wind Gusts at Cannes?
Image: VALERY HACHE/AFP (Getty Images)

I am sweating in a pair of bike shorts and a sports bra right now, just letting you know.

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