Coachella 2023, Weekend 1: All the Celeb Looks Now Probably Caked in Dust

I’m embarrassed to admit how much I love this woman’s style. She is one of the few influencers with enough personality and taste to ascend to the ranks of those famous for a legitimate reason—and both of these outfits prove exactly why that is. Y2K Lara Croft in the desert? Cherry Cola red loafers? No one does effortless cool like Emma.

I guess if you’re Hailey Bieber, you can wear whatever you want to a party in the desert comprised mostly of wannabe starfuckers. She looks cool, although if I were as rich as this woman, I’d ditch the belly chains and go for something more ostentatious (this outfit also begs the age-old question: Is she fashionable, or is she just a thin, conventionally attractive white woman?!).

The singer was spotted at Levi’s Neon Carnival co-hosted by Don Julio on Saturday. Look, I know that Coachella is technically out West, but we didn’t necessarily have to go for a full Western, muddy cowboy look here. Maybe it was a personal request from Shawn? WHO KNOWS?

Okay, now we’re talking! Chains, cotton candy hair, claws, and curve-hugging denim. Coachella Valley demanded a modicum of style from all the Earth tones and flowy skirts, and Saweetie swooped in to save them all.

This “Motomami” not only performed on the main stage on Saturday night (as is her God-given right), but found a moment in between the madness to traipse around the campgrounds looking like an angelic mirage.

The Revenge tour continues as the Vanderpump Rules star—and the shining center of #Scandoval—arrived at the Celsius Coachella party. Radar Online also noted that Madix posted an Instagram story of herself nuzzling up next to fitness coach Daniel Wai. Whether this tall drink of muscle milk is a friend or a special someone remains to be seen, but either way, after what Tom Sandoval has put her through, Madix deserves to be surrounded by people with body-ody-odies.

It appears the trend of see-through garments is going nowhere, and I, for one, am thrilled about this. This ensemble was already a win for me, but the tasteful dino stompers really sealed the deal.

The vampiric king and queen of PDA and over-sharing made their Coachella debut, and Kourt apparently got to attend her first Blink 182 show. Groupie love!

Two models and the chief creative officer of Burberry Group walk into a bar...

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ROCK BONDAGE, THANK YOU TEYANA!

Here is Zoey Deutch being paid to appear at the H&M Coachella party! She looks fine. Moving on.

This look is so Kesha (complimentary!), although the hair feathers are triggering me back to the Venice boardwalk circa 2011.

I almost overlooked them, but these pants feature kneecap zipper pouf pockets. At least someone is taking risks out here.

Now calling the Hamlin girls the Unrecognizable Sisters. This might as well be Bhad Barbie.

Unrecognizable Sister number two. Putting aside the fact that I am triggered by long prairie denim skirts, this femme Canadian tuxedo is working (although teetering on looking too much like Grimes).

Oh, I get it. White rapper channels white rapper. Meta.

A little commotion for the dress, and a lot of commotion for these sandal pumps which appear to have been designed after a Psilocybin trip.

The Daisy Jones and the Six star looks perfectly unbothered, which is exactly the sort of attitude one requires if attending something as unserious as the Revolve Festival.

Paging celebrity stylists: Are we doing bandages as accessories now? Can someone confirm?

Ugh, she looks alternative and grunge here, maybe like an early-aughts Gwen Stefani. (Though I have a hard time believing this is a TikTok star’s personal style.)

I saw Rickey Thompson wearing metallics and jorts at Coachella, so I went out and bought metallics and jorts.

A Victoria’s Secret model at a Coachella influencer event? Groundbreaking.

Simply because Scheana finally proved to the world that she does, in fact, have a spine on this season of Vanderpump Rules, I will allow a photo of the reality star and her husband at a Patrón-sponsored event in the desert. As someone who once wore a sequined crop top in place of a wedding gown, this Coachella outfit is “Good as Gold” for Scheana.

The actor and business owner seemed to be at Revolve Festival because her luggage brand Béis did a nonsensical collaboration with Wanderlust Creamery at the event. Still, she looks cool if you disregard the Hunter-like rain boots.

A crocheted bikini top and shorts smaller than most of the pairs of underwear I own? Yawn.