Ron Jeremy didn’t start out looking like Ron Jeremy, though. Read more

I know! It feels like only yesterday I was reading my ex’s “advance reader’s copy” (he worked at Borders) and angrily disagreeing that the book would become a cultural phenomenon. We broke up soon after for unrelated reasons. Read more

And all I got was this stupid marriage license. Read more

Can’t edit the poll now, but I’ll promote this comment so people can agree with you if they’d like! Read more

HAVE FUN BURNING IN HELL O’CONNORS!!! I wonder if the homosexuals and the bigots have to share one area or if Satan segregates. Read more

That’s how you do it, though? Read more

I think that song is about orgasms. Read more

You might have to develop a nose for it? It’s kind of like when wine people say “this has a lovely bouquet of citrus scents and flavors” and it doesn’t even remotely taste like any citrus you’ve ever tried. Or anything except how wine tastes. Read more

There’s also a “licking lake,” a place called “twin knob,” and a beautiful nature area called “Rodburn.” I asked several of the locals about this and they agreed the town had a couple of deliberate dick jokes up in it. Read more

Fixed it so you could finish the post. In my defense we always called them “icees” when we got them so I suggest you blame the summer camps my parents sent me to for my bad breeding. Read more

Yup! Read more

Link at bottom of post! Read more

Please let me know if this post led to an actual medical diagnosis. Read more

I’ve already filled my quota for penis stories this week. We’ll tackle it next time a story like this comes out. Read more

Really? He’s been reported as her son several times. Read more

I believe that's her son. Read more

I’m pretty sure many men are already very familiar with moisturizing their dicks on a daily basis. Read more

Watch the chilling way she says “god’s authority” in the video from yesterday. Read more

In the immortal words of Rebecca Rose: Read more

I'm told that's my only charm! Read more