emilyalford
Emily Alford
emilyalford
Ph.D. in English. Flower in the Attic. Shares name with superior Brontë.

Yeah, I think what was so different and unique about Crystal even more than her penchant for dressing like a furry was just the big, silly heart that was so obvious in her best performances, which is why Gottmik is closer to that trope for me than Utica this season. Read more

The past two weeks as I’m finishing up the recap I’ve thought to myself “Shit, I forgot about Olivia,” which is exactly how I feel about Olivia in the competition at this point. And I don’t dislike her! She’s just kind of gotten lost in the shuffle.  Read more

I competed in a pre-teen beauty pageant in the navy blue version of that dress with a white bow and applique. Got third runner up that year, I think. Read more

I would very much like to see Kandy v. Utica in a lip synch just for the fact that truly anything could happen. Licking, gymnastics, a small fire, both of them simultaneously drinking milk out of a single ramekin like house cats. Anything.  Read more

Also, when Tina said she was looking forward to the final four and Rose answered, “Yeah, you will have fun watching it,” I. Lost. It. That moment made me a Rose fan no matter what happens even though I’m rooting for Symone.  Read more

Agreed. It seems fairly obvious at this point that final three are Symone, Rose, and Gottmik with Symone to win. If there is a final four, I don’t think it will matter much because I just don’t see Utica or Olivia as real contenders at this point. And Kandy. Bless. It’s almost cruel to keep her beyond next week.  Read more

I swear that man spelled shit (up to and including his own name) just a little bit weird specifically to make writing about that novel even more difficult. Changing now. Thanks.  Read more

Ahh, sorry. I temporarily took up my old job as night blogger all prepared for the “this is wrong and there’s a typo” brigade and then found it where it wasn’t. Friends again?  Read more

No us guys didn’t. I linked the CAA blog Justice wrote and the fact that he will likely face no repercussions if he “lays low” is literally stated in the last two lines of the blog. Wow, feels great to be back on nights. Hello y’all.  Read more

Fine if you need more justification than the half a million images of children being raped he hoarded, I have a PhD in literature and his poem fucking sucks too.  Read more

No, I’m going to not forget the way Thorgy (and Acid Betty) treated Chi Chi like a hay truck bumpkin for an entire season after dismissing her as not on their quirky art school drag level. That was gross. Read more

Right? Like, it’s one thing to say that side by side, with the exception of the sleeping bag, Gottmik’s looks were just slightly stronger than Utica’s. But to blame her having a personality is baffling.  Read more

Growing up in North Louisiana, I never even considered the possibility of using dill relish in literally anything until I was about 25. Like I’m not sure they even sell it where I’m from. It might be illegal like selling alcohol on Sundays. Read more

What I’m learning from this discussion is that Jez commenters are a bunch of Buds when the point of that perfect film was that we should all try to open our hearts and minds to the idea of being a little bit more of a Sissy. Not by putting pecans in tuna salad though, I’m not advocating for anything truly obscene. Read more

Tamisha is such a star but she also seems absolutely exhausted. I wish she’d had more time to recover before the competition because as someone who has gone through cancer treatment, I cannot even imagine how she’s doing it right now.  Read more

Mitch’s beady little eyes in the background all wide like “Lies? This is the first I’ve heard of any lies.”  Read more

I can’t remember the last premiere when I found so many competitors so compelling right off the bat. I am genuinely so excited for this season. But I’m with you, as of now it really seems like those are the two to beat. Read more

I definitely meant cannabis anti-prohibitionist and just changed it. Have no idea where that wrong word came from except the rhyme. Read more

I think that kind of sums up the weirdness I felt too. I’ll never forget Latrice dying laughing on that spinning platform being hosed down with paint, pretending to take off her panties in the pile of trash, and just keeping the shoot going. That...was not this.  Read more

We can talk about other things! What animals do you hate? I can tell you different things I’ve recently spilt on my dog. Read more