The 2023 Cannes Red Carpet Has Once Again Destroyed the Met Gala (Updated!)

Hadid made her festival debut in custom Zac Posen. The chic, neutral column dress really makes her hair and necklace pop.

The OSCAR WINNER has arrived, looking glorious and regal in green!

I don’t know what’s happening here, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

Hard yes to the pockets, hard yes to the bangs. 10/10

I truly can’t imagine rocking up to a glamorous film festival on the sea in South France in a grey coat dress. Pourquoi, Marion???

The John Wick actor is giving cherry blossom tree shedding its petals. I like the playfulness of this dress, it sparks joy.

A super striking and interesting dress, though I can’t decide how I feel about the tutu?

Vikander stars in Firebrand, which screened at the festival on Sunday, opposite Jude Law. I love the bohemian vibe of this dress on her, and her husband looks perfectly nice, too!

There’s a lot going on with his facial hair, but I guess he didn’t want to have to choose between a mustache and scruff.

They look very cool in contrasting black and white, and I always appreciate a reminder that Diana Ross is Ashlee Simpson’s mother-in-law.

We were a bit underwhelmed by Portman’s first look this week, but she knocked it out of the park in this vintage Christian Dior gown.

I’ve never coveted a dress so hard.

The bottom piece of this mermaid gown looks a bit tacked on like curtains, but Hayek otherwise looks phenomenal in purple.

Blanchett can usually do no wrong, but I feel like the proportions are off on this dress. The waist is a bit too high? I’M SO SORRY CATE I LOVE U.

There is so much going on here between the cutouts and the feathered cape and the red/pink contrast, but it all somehow makes sense on her. She killed it.

There is nothing to say about these very basic looks, but I am forever shook that Kirsten Dunst married the weird guy from Friday Night Lights.

The Greek Cypriot model is known for rocking a unibrow, and she definitely did that in Cannes!

The little face on the handbag is killing me.

It feels like this dress is wearing her more than she’s wearing it?

It’s a really bold choice to wear a red gown, red lip and red shoe on a red carpet, but Leest is certainly holding her own here.

The bowtie add-on feels unnecessary. Just rock the naked dress, you look incredible!

If the top part of the dress were tailored to her body a little better, she would’ve nailed this!

The ultimate Cate Blanchett dress. It is perfect. I fear for the cleanliness of the underside of the train, but that’s a problem for the future. For now, just magnificent. (The sequined pockets!!!)

The French director and pop star, who made their relationship public in April, definitely played it safe in matching black, but honestly, who cares! They’re hot as hell together.

I can’t make out exactly what those green things are supposed to be (birds? leaves? the whole thing from far away looks a bit like a strawberry), but I love that The Last of Us actor is clearly taking risks and having fun.

This collar is super weird—and yet... the collar is what gives this dress panache. (Naomi has buckets of it herself.) Maybe it’s her pose, maybe it’s that I love a dress that is basically just a chic voluminous sack but, in any case, this gown is a win.

In every photo of the former first lady of France taken on Friday, she looks like she’s having an absolute ball. I am lukewarm on this dress, but to borrow a phrase, I’ll have what she’s having.

Portman looks lovely, as usual, in navy ombré sequins. Not sure about the belt.

Jude Law’s very cool Gen Z daughter looks she could destroy me with a single, vaguely judgmental glance. Love the gloves.

Aswan stars opposite Cate Blanchett in The New Boy, in which director Warwick Thornton tells “a version of Australia’s founding story,” as Deadline put it. Aswan here looks incredibly sharp and remarkably unfazed by the gauntlet of photographers, and I need to ask him how he gets his hair so good. What a cool kid.

I never understand how people look so calm while posing in dresses this batshit, but it’s a true skill and I’m proud of them for figuring out how to market it.

Is she clutching these giant plush roses to her side? Are they sewn to the dress? Is it both?? Whatever, she’s in bloom.

The best thing about this mirrored dress is that it forces everyone looking at her to also look at themselves. Is your fly down? The skirt will let you know!

This looks like it was someone’s backup for the Met’s Heavenly Bodies theme in 2018, but boy am I glad it got taken out of (hypothetical) storage. What a stunning look.

Kooky! Witchy! Sparkly! In case you are wondering: No, the bow is not sleeves, and yes, this dress is totally backless. I love it.

The gender-nonconforming actor and model looks stunning in sky blue, but I desperately need to know what those mysterious numbers on the pants mean.

I’m a bit surprised that a French designer would show up to the Cannes red carpet of all places looking like she forgot to put her main dress on over her slip. A slightly wrinkled undergarment at a black tie event is certainly a choice, but she wears it well!

Spanish actor Paz Vega, whom you may remember from my favorite Adam Sandler movie Spanglish, kept it simple in navy. Without the sheer fabric and little cut-out, the dress would be fully giving bridesmaid.

Being a British “fashion ambassador” probably puts a bit of extra pressure on choosing a red carpet dress, and Prehn at least gave us some eye candy. It’s not the most original or fashion-forward gown I’ve ever seen, but I appreciate the drama of the color and sleeves.

Here is a Belgian model doing the no-pants thing that’s very cool right now! I just hope she wore enough sunscreen on her torso to prevent that tan line.

I actually quite like this, but it’s what you wear to a restaurant opening in Southampton, not on the Cannes red carpet.

Who can resist a sexy milkmaid dress?

I feel like this pose is really just a sincere effort to keep her hat on her head. That thing is not structurally sound.

Ma’am, that is a wedding dress. Did you borrow it from Kleinfeld’s?

This looks impossible to walk (or eat, drink, pee, or breathe) in. But I don’t hate it!

I’m convinced I tried this on in the Nordstrom juniors section when I was looking for a homecoming dress in 2007—but somehow, it works on the Space Force actor.

We love some red carpet PDA between a pair of German models. The color of that blue dress is divine!

Here is another German model giving Can Can dancer at Cannes, which feels a bit corny—but points, as always, for effort.

No.

I don’t usually love pale pink, but this Rami Al Ali Couture dress is one of my favorites of the whole week. Just stunning.

We love a naked dress!! Hope she’s staying warm.

Kloss, who announced her second pregnancy with husband Joshua Kushner at this year’s Met Gala, is again giving her second kiddo a glam moment in this mustard yellow Christian Dior gown. I am undecided on the netted face covering and headband because it makes me feel like I’m at a 6-year-old’s tea party, but the color is interesting!

If there’s one thing our Fleabag is gonna do, it’s wear black really, really well.

Lima seems to be going for a prickly Queen Bee look. Step on her train, and she’ll sting you.

French singer-songwriter and model Yseult swung for the fences with this dramatic oversized-red-rose-embellished gown, and she certainly caught my attention! But I feel the urge to tell her feet their fly is down...

It’s not a competition (it kind of is), but she wins.

The 90210 actor wore a shimmering crop top with a truly incredible push-up bra effect, and we are not worthy.

There is literally nothing to say about these basic black looks, but I am just happy to see Ally McBeal and Indiana Jones still together on a red carpet!!!

I’ve been obsessed with this Spanish actress since binge-watching the first season of Elite, and she brought all the sex appeal to Cannes in this sheer Atelier Versace number.

Lord, I wish I could pull off the dress this German actress is wearing, and I award infinity extra points to her high wavy ponytail.

Everything about this gown says sacrificial virgin offering, I’m sorry!

Aside from Gemma looking utterly stunning here, I love the confidence required in trying to one-up the red carpet. Executed perfectly—with sheen, I might add.

The structure! The sparkle! The shoulder! King is an interstellar vision in this Gaurav Gupta dress—something I would like to wear as a uniform when we inevitably have to relocate Earth’s entire population over to Mars.

I get the contrast they were going for here: femme, but masculine; working girl with a party knee! But honestly, all I can think about with this peekaboo leg moment is Pedro Pascal’s at the Met Gala. One simply cannot compete.

I love the exaggerated, structured hips on this blazer, but on the whole, I find myself bored to death. When you’re a seasoned celebrity like Holmes with decades of red carpet events under your belt, I’d expect to see more risk-taking than the world’s longest zipper and a pop of magenta.

Ooh, a rare off-carpet moment done well! Chic, elevated, and simple, this play on a dress shirt is checking all the right boxes. And the snake cuff? She left zero crumbs.

Remember what I said about going up against the red carpet? I find Kelly’s attempt somewhat less successful, although I do love the cape overlay. Also, the Prada logos are so jarring on top of such a simple gown, ugh!

I can’t stop staring at this dress trying to figure it out, and I mean that in a good way.

Admittedly, I had to Google this very hot man; he is apparently a TikTok star. He looks a bit like a big shiny wrinkled grape, but I do have to respect a fashion risk.

I don’t completely understand what’s happening here; I feel like the blue lip is unintentionally giving hypothermia. At least it’s not boring!

Feathers and tinsel?? A sweeping, dramatic robe??? I am all the way in. When you’re able to look cozy and glam at the same time, that’s how you know you’re an icon.

The supermodel took her shades off for most of her red carpet pics on Monday, but I really think they make the whole look (even though I am never going to pass on a slinky, sequined gown showing off some tasteful cleavage).

French glamour, personified.

This gown is giving both peacock and Neapolitan ice cream cone, and I somehow mean that as a compliment. I don’t even need to see the front. Magnificent.

If Helen Mirren dyed her hair blue to match her dress at the red carpet premiere of a film about the mistress of a French king, you just know she would crush a costume party. Do I have notes? Sure! The basic barrettes feel a bit haphazard. But this is so good overall that I will keep the rest to myself.

Girl, you know we love a cape!!! Bonus points for an orange feathered one.

I am obsessed with the staging of this photo—it’s as if they’re the royal family of some small principality, greeting their subjects. Neither Catherine nor Michael are on the Cannes jury; they’re just beloved, apparently.

This beautiful man and his beautiful chest are in Extrana Forma de Vida, a short film co-starring Pedro Pascal and Ethan Hawke that premiered on Wednesday. I need to see this, stat. (And I would absolutely wear this fit.)

Yes. Texture, jewels, cleavage, a train... Perfect. We come to this place* for magic.

*Cannes

And then this is what she wore the next day: a fluffier, tulle-ier, cozier version of her previous dress. I love it so much. I hope her gowns get larger each day as the festival goes on.

Another robe!! I think pairing this lush red silk one with a gown in a muted color makes sense, and the whole thing looks pretty comfortable, as far as red carpet outfits go. However, once we get to her clavicle, I’m out. The choker is giving big 2002 Hot Topic vibes, and her hair is similarly reminiscent of what mine looked like after field hockey practice in high school. What happened to this part of the mood board??

Ophély and I have very little in common—as she is Miss France, and I am not—but we appear to share a love of tulle, and that is an unbreakable bond. The electric indigo is a stunning color on her.

Another glamorous wave, this time from an actual Cannes juror! This is giving black-tie-art-teacher, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Men, what’s stopping you from dressing like this????

The latest from the Padme Amidala bridal collection.

Either attach the sleeves or wear gloves!! This is so stupid!!! I’m getting annoyed just thinking about the elastic marks those things are going to leave on her biceps.

Ahhh, here we have a good old European “royal.” Maria’s dad is one of two (lol) pretenders to the House of Bourbon throne—a good reminder that the relative success of the British royal family is keeping the dream alive for a lot of randos across the English Channel.

In any case, I needed to include this particular photo to show you that Maria’s dress appears to have been made from parts of two very distinct designs.

I hope she keeps this picture forever. She looks absolutely stunning. It is not the most creative outfit I’ve ever seen, but damn is she rocking it. Plus, the camera gaggle—such drama!!

I just am so confused by this, but her hair and face are so lovely that she’s almost—not quite—pulling it off.

Charlotte here is 11th in line for the throne of Monaco; Dimitri is her husband (and a film producer); Beatrice is her sister-in-law. They look great, as they should, because they are very rich.

A+ on the drama front. When fashion experts say mix contrasting materials elevates a look, this is what they mean, not “wear a leather jacket with a sundress.”

Our first full boob sighting at Cannes 2023. Congrats, Alicja.

Mads and his wife have a bit of a “siblings or dating” vibe, but maybe that’s just because they’re Scandinavian (or because they have the same haircut). 10 points for her whimsical bag.

I do not know who this man is but I die for this outfit on any person of any gender. A sparkly kilt suit with a structural blazer AND chunky boots???

I hate illusion netting that fails to do its job (i.e. be invisible), but this is so utterly gorgeous in every other way that Farnoush gets a pass.

Speaking of spectacular outfits... My god. I love the dramatic robe/cape/train trend at Cannes this year, and this color is truly magnificent.

You wouldn’t know it by his humble cyclist vibe, but Thierry here is the director of the Cannes Film Festival. (Although I bet that bike costs more than my annual rent.)

Alessandra Ambrosio sure looks like herself. I think I’ve seen her wear a slinky dress like 800 times at this point. It works for her, but I’m bored!

Just John C. Reilly looking dapper in front of the neon “artists’ entrance” sign. That’s all!

Here we have German actress Ruby O. Fee cosplaying as a KarJenner. She looks amazing, though—the dramatic sleeves, the leg and armpit slits, bejeweled stilettos...hats off.

I do not know why Yubin needed crutches but my god, I love her commitment to this look, which would be hard to move in for even the most dexterous and uninjured of people.

“Dress like a disco ball” is always good advice.

This looks she yanked the silk she was doing trapeze yoga in off the ceiling and fashioned it into a toga.

I love the casualness of her wave juxtaposed with an extraordinarily fancy dress. Something about the fit isn’t sitting quite right with me—it looks a bit too big around the waist—but she still gets points for color, sleeves, and neckline.

I’ve never heard of this woman in my life, but she is nailing Cannes’ unspoken “go big or go home” rule.

WHO IS SHE?? Getty does not know this woman’s name, but I’ll give a prize to whomever identifies her first. She IS the moment.