2022 CMAs Red Carpet: Katy Perry Wears Stupid Denim Jumpsuit With Giant Bow, Etc.

There is something very oceanic to this gown. I feel like it wants to be ethereal, but it tried too hard and instead makes Underwood look like she emerged from the waves of a fabric scraps dumpster.

It also looks very similar to Zendaya’s dress at the Met Ball in 2019—except without all the carbon fiber rods and LED lights that actually made the latter dress interesting.

This is the exact same expression I had when my editor asked me if I knew that the Country Music Awards were last night.

It brings me no pleasure to dislike anything Miranda Lambert does. But this looks like the Macy’s dress every 8th grader wore to their end-of-middle-school formal in 2002. Similar to grinding to “Ignition” in the school’s gymnasium, some things are best left resting inside the subconscious folds of the cringe-worthy memories of being 13.

Here are two celebrities goofing around and having a nice time—and two assistants/interns/entry-level entertainment business hopefuls who look a little stressed and like they might shit their pants, since their boss probably told them to make sure the celebrities “never notice you.”

Once a trend—in this case, the Balenciaga/Kim Kardashian full-body glove thing—has trickled down to a country music red carpet, then its job is done. It may retire, relax, and spend its old age hanging out in all the basement trunks and vintage stores it wants.

This ensemble is proof that voting for Rick Caruso—the anti-choice Los Angeles mayoral candidate—is harmful to your health, your community, and your taste in clothing.

Wearing a red dress on the red carpet—no matter how Marilyn Monroe you’re trying to be—just makes you look like a giant pimple that can’t be popped.

A country couple that isn’t Jason and Brittany Aldean! Great! Good for them! Love the metallic green.

I’ve never been a fan of burnt orange, but holy shit if this dress isn’t inspiring me to kick every other color of the rainbow to the curb and make a spontaneous appointment to get a neck tatt.

Every group of friends needs a leader, a star, a Regina George if you will. It appears no one in Little Big Town is in disagreement that Karen Fairchild (bright orange, lace, mermaid dress with feather trim) is their George. With absolutely zero knowledge of the group dynamic, I’ll guess Kimberly Schlapman is the Karen, Jimi Westbrook (far left) is the Cady, and Philip Sweet is absolutely giving me an expression that says he’s desperate to make “fetch” happen.

Wynonna Judd can do no wrong. And after the year she’s had, she gets nothing but props for even attending a red carpet event, let alone looking as stunning as she does in this glittery gold number.

A cape! Magical, whimsical, exciting, fun, etc., etc. The Grey’s Anatomy star has diagnosed me with a case of loving this look!

Underwood, Reba, and Lambert performed a Loretta Lynn tribute wearing the most exciting fits of the entire night. Bright colors, lots of sequins, plenty of tassels, and flashy cowboy boots. Country music need not give us anything else.