It is against my religion, my culture, and my sexual identity to say anything negative about Bad Bunny, who is perfect in all ways and who will be nominated for sainthood upon his death. I actually took a blood oath to protect Bad Bunny and his reputation back in 2017 after I heard his first studio album, Conejo Malo. But I suppose even the Greek gods were flawed, and so it should be no surprise that for the first time since he’s entered the pop culture canon, Bad Bunny has made a single terrible decision. He’s dropped a pair of Crocs.
Despite what has been written on this website in the past, Crocs are an ugly shoe and should be neither seen nor heard. The only appropriate places for a Croc are hospitals and nursing homes. Yet Bad Bunny has chosen, against what I need to believe is his better judgement, to bring Crocs back into polite society with an all-white, glow-in-the-dark clog peppered with Bad Bunny Jibbitz charms. Even though the Crocs have been blessed by the touch of the rabbit gawd, they are still hideous and not even the darkness can hide that fact.
These very ugly white clogs drop Tuesday at noon and will likely be sold out by at the very latest 12:02 pm EST. When I fill out the application for Bad Bunny’s sainthood, I will be sure to add “making Crocs acceptable” to the list of miracles that happened in his name. Let the church say amen.