Jason Chaffetz Won't Seek Reelection in 2018, Citing 'Personal' Reasons

Shocked and saddened to have to say goodbye to so many great men today!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Utah Rep. and House Oversight Committee chair Jason Chaffetz made a surprise announcement today that he would not be seeking reelection in 2018. That was quite enough oversight for this guy, apparently. “After more than 1,500 nights away from my home, it is time,” he said in a statement. Chaffetz, however, has hinted that he might run for governor in 2020. [New York Times]
  • After the horrible deportation of supposedly protected DREAMer Juan Manuel Montes, who came to the U.S. when he was 9, Attorney General Jeff Sessions indicated that more DACA enrollees might be subject to deportation. “We can’t promise people who are here unlawfully that they’re not going to be deported,” he said ominously, although Trump literally did promise that. Jesus. [Politico]
  • Sen. Chuck Grassley said that he is expecting another Supreme Court justice seat to open up this year—and unfortunately that seat isn’t likely to belong to, say, Clarence Thomas, but rather crucial swing vote Anthony Kennedy, who is in his 80s and has been rumored to be considering retirement. [The Muscatine Journal]
  • Here’s a fun North Korean propaganda vid that shows the United States getting blown to smithereens. [Twitter]
  • Berkeley cancelled an upcoming Ann Coulter appearance over fears of violence, which Coulter is predictably unhappy about. [Washington Post]
  • This is a really interesting article about how the Duke lacrosse scandal intersected with the birth of the “alt-right.” [New York Magazine]
  • LEAVE MALIA ALONE!!!!!! [NY Daily News]

Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.