Yes, you read that correctly. Harry Potter! Arrested! Weed!
But no, I’m not elliptically referring to Daniel Radcliffe. And I’m not operating under some delusion that Harry Potter and his lot exist—although, in the midst of our current national nightmare, I have often fantasized about Hogwarts. I’m referring to Harry Potter, a 19-year-old from York, England, who was found in possession of marijuana, as well as cash presumably earned from selling it.
There are of course many dumb, wizard-related jokes to make, but I’m afraid I’m a spoilsport. That said, I invite the rest of you to bask in the possibilities.
According to USA Today, Potter was riding his moped—go ahead, pause to make a broomstick joke—when a police officer stopped him, alerted by “a strong smell of cannabis.” After discovering the weed and cash, the officer arrested Potter, and his case was sent to trial.
Apparently Potter’s lawyer argued that his client wasn’t really dealing, just procuring extra pot for his friends and charging the same price he had paid. But I don’t think anyone is especially invested in the nitty-gritty details of Potter’s legal troubles—he just has an unfortunate name. Or perhaps it has worked to his benefit! If he began a weed delivery service, he’d have plenty of options for a logo, and of course Potter offers some wordplay opportunities.
In any case, I release you to the comments, where you may make merry with this information. I think we can all agree, however, that wizards probably have far better drugs than muggles.
(Oh, and for what it’s worth: multiple sorting hat quizzes, including the Pottermore one, have told me that I’m a Ravenclaw.)