Passengers, the upcoming sci-fi thriller slash romantic dramedy starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence as two unlucky sexy people on a spaceship whose hibernation pods malfunction 30 years into their 120-year journey, has a new trailer that does something I thought was impossible: it makes Passengers look even worse than the first trailer did.
Inexplicably set to an Imagine Dragons song that sounds like a Coldplay song that Coldplay was too embarrassed to release—the song, “Levitate” was shockingly written specifically for the film—the minute-long trailer strips all the “thrills” and “tension” from the first trailer, and leaves only the “romance.” (There are quotation marks around all those descriptors because every single thing about this movie—from its central characters, to their ability to find moments of pleasure in a scenario that resembles hell, to the spaceship that screams “soundstage” so loudly that it’s gone hoarse—feels artificial.)
I’m looking forward to writing a new blog about this zero-gravity dump every time Sony thinks of a new way to sell it.