Who Punched Roger Ailes in the Face: An Investigation

Paranoid trash king Roger Ailes showed up to Donald Trump’s debate prep sporting a fresh black eye yesterday, reports his sworn enemy and extremely unauthorized biographer, New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman. But a question remains—who among the many he has wronged got the satisfaction of punching him in the eye?

The list of people with reason to sock Roger Ailes right in his squishy, puffy face is long, and justified. Ailes is an irrational, vindictive, abusive man who spent his time at Fox News spying on his detractors, threatening his enemies, and, according to dozens of allegations, routinely demanding sex from female employees, punishing those who rejected his advances. Who didn’t want to punch Ailes in the face is perhaps the better question. Still, it was probably one of these people: