The hot new trend among celebrities in and around Kim Kardashian’s orbit is developing custom emoji keyboards for smartphones. By “trend,” of course, I mean “three famous people have done this recently,” and those people are Kim Kardashian, Amber Rose, and Angela “Blac Chyna” Kardashian.
For the most part, Angela’s Chymojis (released on Mother’s Day) feel derivative of the two that presumably inspired them—Kim’s Kimojis and Amber’s Muvamojis. There are emoting faces, illustrated versions of her most memorable moments, and plenty of tea-sipping. But beyond the options we’ve come to expect from custom emoji keyboards of Kardashian and Kardashian-adjacent celebrities—and even bizarre, though recognizable, additions like Psy and the Chloe meme—the Chymoji app include several that have brought me to a head-scratching standstill. In what scenario would I use them? And, more importantly, would my intended meaning even be understood by the recipient?
I’ve done my best to figure out the following Chymojis. Please me know if you think my interpretations are accurate.
1. Angela Kardashian for Mayor of Calabasas:
Use as a Response To: “As someone who has only driven through Calabasas twice (both times while screaming, ‘Look! We’re in Calabasas!’), I’m far too unfamiliar with the city’s needs to know who I should support in its mayoral race. Who do YOU think I should vote for?”
2. Rob Holding Angela’s Breasts:
Use as a Response To: “What are you NOT doing right now?”
3. Angela Being Slapped:
Use as a Response To: “Hey it’s me, your best friend Angela Kardashian. Thanks for downloading my new emojis! Now that you’ve spent some time using the app, are there any Chymojis you think I should probably remove? I trust your judgment because, as I said before, you’re my best friend.”
4. A Disembodied Ass, Ready to be Eaten:
Presumed Response To: “What should we have for dinner tonight? And please DON’T respond with that ass emoji. It’s not funny anymore, and I don’t want to keep pacing around the grocery store with an empty cart.”
5. Angela Sailing a Boat
Presumed Response To: “I know this is coming out of left field and that we haven’t talked to each other since May of 2014 (according to my text history), but when you hear the phrase ‘I’m the captain now,’ do you think of that scene from Captain Phillips or something else entirely?”
6. Angela Making a Joke About Fair Trade
Presumed Response To: “I’m one of those people who thinks fair trade is no joking matter. Are you?”
7. Blac Chyna, Bound and Gagged
Presumed Response To: “Can you send me the Chymoji you think would best accompany the BDSM fanfic I wrote about Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada?”
8. A Measuring Cup
Presumed Response To: “Hey, what piece of helpful kitchen glassware should you never put in the dishwasher?”
9. Black Chyna Twerking on Rob and Hypnotizing Him With Her Ass
Presumed Response To: “How do you define ‘art’?”
10. This Blog
Presumed Response To: “If there were a print version of Jezebel.com, what would it look like?”
Images via Chymoji.